"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother." ~ St. Crispin’s Day Speech from Henry V, William Shakespeare

“Band of Brothers” is a phrase that has come to symbolize the profound bond forged between men who face trials and hardships together. In Stephen Ambrose's "Band of Brothers," this brotherhood is vividly portrayed among the soldiers of Easy Company during World War II. Ambrose writes: "They also found in combat the closest brotherhood they ever knew. They found selflessness. They found they could love the other guy in their foxhole more than themselves. They found that in war, men who loved life would give their lives for them." 

These historical and literary examples illustrate a timeless truth: men have always needed and will always need deep friendships. Though most men today do not carry Automatic Rifles over their shoulders and grenades on the right side of their backs; they are still engaged in a less visible but equally significant battle. Men crave camaraderie, the kind of bond where they can be fully known, supported, and challenged. This is the essence of what it means to find your "band of brothers." 

The Necessity of Deep Friendships 

When Jesus set out to begin His redemption mission, He assembled His own band of brothers to serve alongside Him. As they grew in relationships, His disciples became much more than “servants,” they became friends. “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” John 15:15. Imagine that for a minute, Jesus “confided” in His friends. The word “confide” means to “give trust.” The disciples had not done much to “earn” Jesus’ trust, but He gave it to them anyways. Even more, He gave His friends His life, and challenged them to do the same. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13. With that level of trust and sacrifice, is it any wonder that Jesus’ band of brothers went on to change the world, and give their lives for the cause of Christ? 

Deep friendship has always been a hallmark of Jesus' followers. In fact, our sacrificial and loving friendship with one another is meant to be our number one proof that we belong to Jesus, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:35. Love and friendship is not a topic to be merely discussed or a virtue to be praised from a distance, it is a raw and gritty reality that requires us to roll up our sleeves, get dirty, and take a few scars along the way. 

Jesus knew that the Kingdom of God would not enter into the world peacefully... all of hell and every power and principality is waging war against it. “From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.” Matthew 11:12. This passage is difficult to understand for the carnal man who only understands physical violence, and the effeminate man who cannot stomach the thought of any picture of Jesus but a waif-like pansy, but for the mighty man of God, he realizes that he is engaged in a spiritual war which requires spiritual weapons, and a cadre of cadets to link shields with. Gary Yagel in "Forging Bonds of Brotherhood" underscores this point: "The stakes are too high, the battle too fierce, the enemy too wily, the attacks too frequent, the cost of defeat too severe for any Christian man to fight his spiritual battles alone." 

Embracing Brotherhood 

The journey to finding your band of brothers involves intentionality and commitment. It requires vulnerability, courage, and the willingness to engage deeply with others. Men don’t fall into deep friendships, they forge them. Without intentionality, all men will experience a friendship attrition that becomes a friendship deficit. Like most men, you are probably very busy and knee deep in career, marriage, and kids and you have likely let your friendships fall by the wayside. Or, you have a lot of friends, but no one really knows you or understands what you are going through. Don’t wait until you are in a foxhole, under attack to make having a band of brothers a priority. It starts with action and it starts now.

Finding Your Band of Brothers: Forging Deep Friendships in a Shallow World is a new IMPACT Cohort study for men who want to grow as husbands, fathers, and leaders. If you are a man who believes that forging deep friendships is important, we encourage you to join or start an IMPACT Cohort and participate in this 7 week study. Take action here.